The worst thing ever was just on television. And when I say ever, I mean it: ever.

The Brilliant Hilton Family, purveyor of fine hotels and celebutante sluts, has seen it fit to bring to you another bastardized creation:

Skating and Gymnatics Stars Special.

There is no more television hybrid deadlier than this.

But wait - throw in American Idol reject Diana DiGarmo Whatsherface Shewasvoted Offforareason, and you've got a masterpiece of bad television. I mean, really. What the fuck.

Yuko Sato and Carly Patterson, alternately flipping and triple salchowing while this Loser Idol Reject sings (badly, might I add) "Don't Cry Out Loud."

Bravo, you disappoint me. Sincerely. It was almost as bad as the Miss America pagent that I caught a glimpse of last night. Actually, no. This was worse than a bunch of southern belles prying and shoving for the crown wearing horrid dresses and chokers that looked like studded dog collars purchased at Hot Topic.

I couldn't watch anymore of the Skating and Gymnastics Stars special, although it featured World Hero Brian Boitano (who I'm sure can kick an ass or two), due to their music choice. What else? Brian Boitano is fine in his own right, but skating to (and how do you "skate to" a song, anyway? If you really think about it, the idea is preposterous) a bastardized rendition of Michael Bolton singing "Georgia on My Mind"...then I've had enough.

Bad TV can be good for you sometimes, but sometimes, it can just be BAD. Keep your heads on, kids...stay away from crack and awful Bravo specials!